dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
