i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
