I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
