Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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