he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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