Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
