I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just cropdusted the office
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
