I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
