You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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