Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
