Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
