I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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