The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize