my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
