My first STD was from a foam party
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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