so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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