If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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