he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize