Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
