Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize