Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
