All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
