Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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