Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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