I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
