Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Text me some of your sweat
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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