We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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