I feel like abortions should bother me more
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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