I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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