so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've blown a few things in my day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
