Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
