You're so nebulous sometimes
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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