WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
