when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
