How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
