these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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