i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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