giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
