I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
