I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
