all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Semen is not good for contacts.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
