Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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