It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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