giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
