You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Randomize
