Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
