Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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