Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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