So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
