who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
