I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize