Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
