There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
only you would photoshop your dick
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
