Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Alive.
So much puke
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
