Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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