the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize