Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize