ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize