Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
