I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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