Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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