Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize