Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
