Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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