I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
love makes seman taste better
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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