I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
