I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
