Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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