cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
