He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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