Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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