You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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