I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
