Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We got so high we made milksteak
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
