Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
