Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
