All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My vagina just clenched in fear
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
