She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
