Dual....:-)
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
