Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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