ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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